Missy you will be missed......

blah .... where to start. there is some things i need to get out and this seems like a great way to do it. missy i love you more then you ever knew. i thought very high of you. you were a wonderful person that would light up any room. i just cant believe your gone. you were way to young for this. i remember a lot of good times with you. i am just glad that i was able to be a part of your life. you were beautiful, intelligent, and extremly smart. i know you been through a lot these past two years, especially the last six months with being sick and with ma-ma passing away. but you tried to be strong and tried to hold it together for pa=pa. i know you had your issues, we all did. but it seems like you were being dealt rough hand. and karol. wow karol was such a lucky person to have someone like you as a mother. i remember your face and the way you looked when you first saw karol when we went to pick her up in guatemala. it was amazing. you were so excited and nervious and scared. lol and when you experienced her explosive diarrhea lmao she was already part of the family. and the fact that you choose me to go with you to pick her upwas exciting. that ment a lot to me that you did that. going there getting your baby was a very personal thing. and it was me you decided to share that experience with. it will always be a memory that i will never forget. karol is going to grow up knowing how much her mommy loved her. i will make sure that she knows everything you went though and how much you wanted and loved her. i know you started a journal from the trip to guatemala to get karol, so when i find it i will make sure karol gets that. i think that was a great idea and she will love it. i hope you liked the clothes we picked out for you to wear. i know it was what you wore for ma-ma's funeral. it was a pretty dress. i cleaned up your room a little bit, and dont think i forgot about your promise to keep your room clean heh heh. you know, the hardest part for me about all this is that you were so young. lol i know you thought you were "old" but you werent. 39 was way to young for this missy. and man it bothers me. it bothers the hell out of me that just the day before just saturday you were looking great. we all went to the bouncey barn place and we all had a great time. you seemed to have a blast. you were going down the big slide lol and even climbed straight up for that other slide. you were so active, so there and now your gone. i cant believe this missy. there was no signs of this. i mean i know you had your issues but damn. i dont how much it would have helped but i just wish i could have told you good-bye, told you how much i loved you, told you how much you truly mean to me. you gave me the world and you always believed in me. thank you. and i wanted to tell ou thank you for everything you have done for me. all the christmas cards, all the easter card, all the birthday cards, all the cards for every even you ever sent me, for coming to my school functions even the band concerts lol, all the gifts, for everything. well these are some tings i needed to get out. hopefully your reading this because these are some things i really wanted you to know. i'm sure knew all these already and i know this ia a normal reaction when something like this happens but i just want you to know this. i love you and i have always thought of you as a mom. good night and sweet dreams. i love you.